Monday, 3 December 2012

confusion, should we want the life of others?

I probably won't try to make this one a rant, because you probably won't like to read long winded chunks of text anyway.

So what is it that people like? We all know that different people like different things. But how do you know what the person that you are trying to appeal to, likes? It goes for relationships, career, family. In relationships, one thing that is good for you, may not be good for another. But how do you know, that what you are like, appeals to the kind of person that you like. Being yourself may not guarantee that you will appeal to the person you want- unless by some stroke of genius or that your natural self is just universally seen as attractive. I know someone who I feel like has morphed into somebody that would appeal to others, in order to get what they want. Is this smart? So what about the idea of being yourself? Is this contradictory, or a fact of life? This is what some call 'playing the game', whether in love, career or succumbing to the conventions of society. Now that I am finally graduating, I feel a sense of numbness, that everything that I have worked towards, do not culminate a sense of worthwhile achievement, but more like evidence of having survived something. Its not a sense of ownership that I have done my best to achieve a goal that was pre-determined and thoroughly thought out as being the best for me.

And then there's the question of whose goal are you reaching? How does one define a worthwhile goal? I read this article about a woman who achieved great success, only to find all her friends are marrying off and she realises that actually, instead of focusing all her energy on being marginally better at managing her career, she hasn't really managed her relationships either. Others, may have compromised their career slightly for the sake of having a balanced lifestyle, and they are happier for it. So how does one decide on what is a worthwhile goal? I've just come to this idea that life is so short. I dont want to say that I have wasted it but I feel more lost now than ever- the world opens up and there are more choices, its confusing.

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