guys, from a girl's perspective

Ok, so let's take the focus off career and education, and turn to the direction of love and relationships. This is an area that I have largely and deliberately tried to avoid, I guess because I wanted to focus on my career first, or because I didn't understand it and think it was important. But it matters now- for girls anyway. For guys, they've still got a few years ahead of them, so lucky for them they don't have to think about it yet.

There is a guy that I'm interested in. He's the type of guy that is very career focused and lucky for him, he doesn't need to think about relationships yet- how unlucky for me. I'd like to see myself as someone who values intelligence, tenacity and ambition. He's really outgoing, driven and organised. He doesn't even want a relationship and yet he seems to get all these girls floating around him. He's not that good looking, he's body type is not favourable, he's not rich either. But there is something about him that I'm intrigued about. Then there is another guy, who really wants a relationship so badly. He's the committed type. He's not that good looking, he's body type is not favourable, he's richer, and he's taller. But I'm not interested. From a girls perspective, what changed? Why the first guy and not the second? Its not because the first is a player and girls like bad boys. I'm looking for a serious relationship and am conscious to avoid those types. The differences boil down to these:

Guy A is confident. He knows how to speak, hold a conversation, make me laugh. He's got good posture, stands defiant, dresses well-ish. He's assure of himself, never speaks a word of self-deprecation, never hesitates between issuing the idea and taking the action. He may not be confident on the inside, but his image projects the feeling of confidence. And that is most important.

Guy B is awkward. He's got zero game. He slouches, keeps saying 'maybe I just suck', does not even try to make a good impression of himself. Even small things, he doesn't walk to my pace, isn't absolutely sure about what his plan is. (Both guys had no plan but guy B just kept going back and forth, 'should we do this? maybe this? are you sure? I'm sorry...'). Guy B had very poor presentation. And I can confidently say that the reason he did not get the job at one of the big 4 was not because of HR but because he had TERRIBLE presentation. He was like, a child in an adult's body. Guys, even if you are focused on your career, please take the time to improve your social skills- I now understand how important it is.

So in light of this, I take heed. What sort of things do girls need to focus on in terms of self-presentation? What would put girl A over girl B?

confusion, should we want the life of others?

I probably won't try to make this one a rant, because you probably won't like to read long winded chunks of text anyway.

So what is it that people like? We all know that different people like different things. But how do you know what the person that you are trying to appeal to, likes? It goes for relationships, career, family. In relationships, one thing that is good for you, may not be good for another. But how do you know, that what you are like, appeals to the kind of person that you like. Being yourself may not guarantee that you will appeal to the person you want- unless by some stroke of genius or that your natural self is just universally seen as attractive. I know someone who I feel like has morphed into somebody that would appeal to others, in order to get what they want. Is this smart? So what about the idea of being yourself? Is this contradictory, or a fact of life? This is what some call 'playing the game', whether in love, career or succumbing to the conventions of society. Now that I am finally graduating, I feel a sense of numbness, that everything that I have worked towards, do not culminate a sense of worthwhile achievement, but more like evidence of having survived something. Its not a sense of ownership that I have done my best to achieve a goal that was pre-determined and thoroughly thought out as being the best for me.

And then there's the question of whose goal are you reaching? How does one define a worthwhile goal? I read this article about a woman who achieved great success, only to find all her friends are marrying off and she realises that actually, instead of focusing all her energy on being marginally better at managing her career, she hasn't really managed her relationships either. Others, may have compromised their career slightly for the sake of having a balanced lifestyle, and they are happier for it. So how does one decide on what is a worthwhile goal? I've just come to this idea that life is so short. I dont want to say that I have wasted it but I feel more lost now than ever- the world opens up and there are more choices, its confusing.

Room from the Top

 

This is a fresh new perspective, it's almost like a 2D artwork in itself. Turn your idea upside down and run with it.

Life decisions: how do you choose it?

Ever changed courses around like 2-3 times? Or more? Trying to figure out where you're going to go afterwards? Or have you found your passion? I have but I don't want to follow it. This might be the biggest mistake of my life, but maybe living out your mistakes are what makes life interesting (or maybe I'm just saying that to make myself feel better?)